Leadership Essentials Series - Are you a Negative or Positive Talker?
 Gosh, have you ever had a person in your life that as much as you want to like them
it seems that every time you talk to them they seem to be always focused on some
catastrophe or hellish experience, or the plain old “negative” side of things.
Negative people can definitely be draining, sometimes even known to “suck the life”
right out of us. And the fact is that nobody really enjoys being around negative people.
Well except for maybe other negative people. Like after all attracts like.
For many of us we’ve come to a place in our life were we realize that...
Hey life is too short
and has far too much to offer to get stuck in a negative place.
Why after all would I choose to be negative when I can pick something else,
like happy, or grateful for what I do have, or well you get the idea?
I do realize of course that there may be some of you reading this right now thinking to
yourself “she’s nuts, what is she talking about picking something else and being happy.
Are you crazy with all this misery and…” Well if that’s what you’re thinking right now
I can tell you right off the bat this article is not for you.
This article is however for those of you that have come to realize that there is a
difference between negative thinkers and positive thinkers. And perhaps you’ve come to
realize that it actually even goes beyond thinking, and there are actually people out
there that are experiencing wonderful, grateful lives and people who, well are not.
Perhaps you yourself, find at times that you can be overly negative, you’re aware of it,
but you’d really like to change this behaviour. You have for whatever reasons come to
realize that you can start experiencing more of the things you’d like if you just focused
on them instead of what you don’t like.
Maybe people have told you that you’re negative, and for the life of you, you just can’t
seem to recognize how you are being negative.
Here I am providing a couple of lists of language characteristics. The first one is
negative and the second one is positive. This list will help you to identify if you’re a
negative talker or a positive talker. Remember how you talk is a very fair reflection of
what is going on in the inside.
Characteristics of Negative Language:
- Focus is on what cannot be done
- Focus on blaming anybody anything anywhere
- “Can’t” “won’t” “unable”
- Not focused on outcome
- Constantly finding more problems
From a leadership perspective I’d like to say this...
Goodness people I’ve said this a thousand times and I’ll say it a thousand more “ I don’t
pay you to find problems, I pay you to find solutions!
I’m not interested in what can’t,
won’t happen I’m only interested on what will happen to give me the results I want.
I’m not interested in working with people that are looking to blame or find excuses,
I’m looking for people that are willing to be fully accountable to where they are now
and willing to find a way to get to our goal.”
I find it mind boggling that there are leaders out there that are willing to continue
to pay people to come to work with the negative attitudes. There are ways to bring
them from the “dark side” without having to terminate their employment
(this you have to learn not read about). But for crying out loud if it were my money you
were spending on them, well let’s just say, “You wouldn’t be spending my money on this type
of employee/behaviour”
Characteristics of Positive Language:
- Focus is on what can be done
- Identifies and explores various choices
- Are helpful and encouraging during solution finding process
- Take forward movement to a positive outcome
- Clearly define positive outcome they are looking for.
Leaders it is vital for you to realize that your staff will do what you do, not as you say.
You are the model for behaviour within your department.
If you have an overly negative team it is quite possible that you may be projecting a
negative outlook yourself. It gets a bit deeper than this but for now this is a good start.
Remember
“Be the change you want to see”
And for all of you that are not leaders, but find yourself working in a negative
unproductive, possibly even hostile work environment, for a boss that’s well just
completely inept, keep in mind this; they are probably inwardly more frightened
than you can imagine be compassionate and yet at the same time remember you can
always work somewhere else!
 Until
next time
For Your Success
Be Well,
Jackey Backman
“Best
Boss" Transformational Leadership Edmonton/Calgary
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