Ask and you shall receive...
 If getting what I wanted from others were as
simple as just asking well there wouldn’t be a single
thing I desired. Asking is nonetheless an absolutely vital
element in getting what you want.
Telling somebody or demanding what you want, although under
limited circumstances may prove effective is most certainly
not helping you to maintain any level of rapport with others.
Maintaining rapport with others is absolutely “key”
to your long-term success. (That’s a very important
secret for those of you that may be so focused on the short
term that you’re actually shooting your future in the
foot)
Not saying a thing (and possibly whining, whether internally
or externally) about what’s not happening in your life
certainly isn’t going to get you what you want either.
So I suppose the only thing left to do is Ask. Yet how many
times have you asked for something, lets say from your boss,
and you didn’t get it?
I am in total agreement that you must ask for what you want,
and like that old adage clearly states, it’s not what
you say it’s how you say it. And if I may be so bold
to add, when and where must also be included
with the what and how in order to secure
a favourable end result.
Here are four easy to follow steps that help you to start
getting what you want through asking:
-
Timing “There is no way I’m
asking today, he’s absolutely foul” -
We’ve all at some point talked ourselves out of
asking because of reasons like this – Good Call
Yet timing is so much more. Pretend as if the scenario
is this, you’d like your boss to approve an event
you want to attend.
Timing factors to be considered include (although not
limited to): are there other similar events already being
supported and are they happening at the same time? What
may be going on in the organization/department that funds
are limited? Is this something new, and if so is my boss
comfortable with new things (if not you’ll definitely
want to ask them when they are feeling particularly confident
about themselves) and so on.
-
Ask in Person, in private and preferably
not in their office. In person will clearly demonstrate
that you have the courage to “stand behind”
what you are asking for. And it isn’t nearly as
easy to deny you as it would be say through an email.
In private is just a dignified way to approach people.
Although it may not be big deal for you to ask in front
of others they may be awkward with it. (And lord above
I can tell you that some people look for any excuse to
“blame” somebody for their awkwardness…don’t
go there)
By doing so outside of their office or on neutral ground,
quite simply provides a psychological “even”
playing ground. They may ask to continue in their office,
if so simply comply, apparently that’s where they
“need” to be.
- What’s in it for them? You must
have at least 3 excellent reasons that clearly identify
for them what they (personally, the department or the organization
as a whole) will benefit from giving you what you want.
This is the step where you establish value. How you complete
this step will directly impact whether or not you are successful.
- Give them choices. People love choices.
In this case an example of a choice could be “ The
event is being offered on 4th or 6th. Which one do you feel
would work best?”
With this type of “closing” you must refer to
step 1. Timing. Be certain that they are buying into your
offer at least somewhat, if they’re not they’ll
shut you down in a flash, if they are buying in, with this
type of choice, the issue for them no longer becomes whether
you go or not rather, when you go.
Asking for what you want is most definitely a necessity,
just keep in mind
friend, that just like most things in life it's how you do
them that is
going to determine how successful you are.
Oh yeah, this goes for the things you want in your personal
life as well.
until next time,
here's to asking for what you want!
 For
your Success!
Jackey Backman
P.s. Find out how you can have jackey come
out and speak...NO CHARGE... for your charitable or community
support function! by contacting
E mail me at jackey@onespiritinc.com
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One Spirit Inc. 