Is it possible that your children, your spouse, your boss, friends and co workers are all treating you exactly the way you "taught" them to treat you?
I guarantee you it is!
Now for the most part this has been an unconscious process. What I mean by this is that you haven't intentionally taught them to treat you in ways that you don't like or for that matter you haven't intentionally taught them to treat you in ways you do like either. More than likely you have been completely unaware that you were doing anything at all.
For example, you may have a spouse or
child that is in the habit of leaving
their "stuff" laying around the house.
Many people respond to this by getting
upset, possibly yelling at the person
and quite likely nagging a little, but
ultimately you pick up after them. If
this sounds like you, well you've just
"taught" them that they don't need to
pick up after themselves because you will
do it for them!
Can you see this?
The only decision they need to make is
are they willing to listen to the nagging?
For many, a little nagging is worth the
additional "work load".
It's the same thing at work.
Do you have people that treat you poorly?
Maybe it's a co worker that's always got
a smart remark, or a micromanaging boss
that freaks out over anything, maybe a
co worker that dumps work on you? Well
you've taught them that they can do this
and get away with it.
Why do we allow ourselves to be treated this way, particularly at work? Possibly
because most of us aren't willing to assertively
confront the individual and address the
behaviour.
Most likely it's because we just don't
know what or how to actually "say" what
needs to be said. Regardless of why, not
dealing with behaviour you don't like
sends a very clear message to the sender
that their behaviour is acceptable to
you, and it will continue.
"What is not confronted will continue"
If someone is treating me like poop I tell them. I do it from a place of "love" from an assertive place and I specifically address their behaviour (not them personally) Do they take offense? Well sometimes they do, but mostly they kind of shake their heads because they weren't aware of just how I was feeling. Sometimes an apology follows, usually they just tuck their tail between their legs and carry on...in a more favourable way.
Remember my friends, this is your life and you teach people how to treat you!
Here's to your success!
Jackeyb
P.S. My " Dealing with Bad Apples" Special
Report Series gives you step by step instructions
on what, how and when
to deal with some of the most difficult
people. Click
here for more details!
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