Format = h How to Say NO       Saying the word "No" is one of the first words you learned.  You have heard it hundreds of thousands of times and yet for so many, "NO" is one of the hardest words in the English language to say. I'm not talking about the uncomfortable feelings that arise when we find ourselves in a situation where 'no' is a natural response. I'm talking about that fear that stops people just short of "NO".  For those of you with this problem, your unwillingness to say "no" has created repercussions far beyond what many of you expected.  You find yourself being over worked and under appreciated. You sit back and watch while others do virtually half of your work-load and get as much if not more recognition.  You work late, you come in early, and at home nobody takes anything you say seriously.  Yes this is a big problem for many. Now all of you "NO Goers" or people that will not say "no" even at their own expense. I believe you will benefit most by hearing the "other" perspective to this situation. Yes that's right . The perspective of the people you don't say no to! There are two groups of No Goers.  The first group simply does not say "NO". They usually agree to do the work even though quite possibly their work-load is heavy and there is a good chance the work won't get done, not to mention that it would definitely be lacking in the quality as they simply cannot give it the necessary attention it requires. It is exceptionally challenging to work with, to depend on and to trust people that cannot openly, honestly and directly tell me that they are unable to do what I'm asking "I mean what's the big Whoop?" If you can't do it, you can't do it!. In addition, because they are unwilling to disclose what they are able and unable to do, they therefore interfere with me from making an alternate choice, or possibly an opportunity to work with them to find a solution. Often times with this group of "NO Goers", just to add insult to injury, often will take on a task, agree to get it done by a certain time, only not to have it completed as promised or completed in a hap hazard manner that it is virtually useless. The second group of "NO Goers" are the verbal attack people. Yes you know who you are.  Usually your prey is unsuspecting, sometimes innocent by standers just stopping by to say hello!  You are so busy and so overwhelmed that even the slightest distraction sends you over the edge.  Not to mention that sometimes the unsuspecting person actually needs your help, by Gosh you're the only one that can do it. Remember? that's the way you've arranged things!!! The usual response at this particular point in time is usually one very psychotic: "Don't ever think about asking me again as long as you live, you freaking maniac. NO!" Saying "No" is about setting boundaries.  You can only set boundaries if you respect, honour and value yourself and others.  Clearly understanding what you are able and willing to do and what you are not, is the first step in setting boundaries.  Once your boss comes to you with an assignment that you know you cannot complete within the time requirements given,  you simply advise them when it can be completed as you are unable to complete it by the time they have requested.  If they insist that the assignment is completed by a certain time, it is well within your rights to ask them to resolve any possible problems with the other people you will be letting down or bumping in order to accommodate your boss.    There are times of course that you will work late and you will come in early as well, however these times should be few and far between with very clear boundaries on what you are willing or unwilling to do.  Otherwise, without the boundaries they will become the norm.  If the organization or anybody in your life for that matter, requires you to do things that you are not willing to do you need to respect yourself enough to make a decision about who you want to associate with. Until next time be well, Jackeyb P.s.s. - Special Offer - Joseph our lead health and wellness life coach is offering 5 fr.ee health & weight loss evaluation coaching sesion. These sessions won't last so contact him at joseph@onespiritinc.com today with your name and number. if your not quite ready for this important step in transforming your health signup for our enlightening new health newsletter. It's fr.ee and contains valuable health information you won't find anywhere else click here     Copyright 2004, One Spirit Inc. All Rights Reserved. If youremail@domain.com has recieved this email in error, Unsubscribe here.